For the past several weeks, Republican energy conference leaders have been keeping the massive energy bill concealed from the public's prying eyes while they tenderized the final version of the bill. Today, Sen. Peter Domenici (R-NM) finally decided to let the rest of us have a glimpse of the details in this 1,700 page, $80 billion bill before it goes to vote sometime next week.

One thousand seven hundred pages is longer than War and Peace, but we here at TCS didn't have to read a single word in order to figure out that Congress is getting fed the Christmas ham a little early this year.

One of the most dubious provisions in the bill are tax incentives for a $20 billion natural gas pipeline to be built from Alaska to Chicago. Although the pipeline could instead be run through Canada at a much lower price and directed towards the lower 48 via existing infrastructure from there, what's good for the federal purse isn't always what's good for a member of Congress's district, and it looks like our friends from Alaska will get to have their pork and eat it too.

All of the subsidies and tax breaks in the bill gave many of Senator Domenici's colleagues a mild case of trichinosis. A quick look at WebMD.com informs us that the best way to treat trichinosis is with Thiabendazole. Unfortunately, Senator Domenici has chosen a considerably more questionable way to deal with this pork-induced affliction: more pork. The final bill includes funding for dozens of frivolous pet projects that were added on in order to grease the palms of a few fence sitters.

A set of five development projects financed by tax-exempt bonds that could cost taxpayers $350 million over 10 years is one of the provisions that has held up the bill. Included among the five projects is a billion dollar mall, to be built in Syracuse, New York at three times the cost of the Mall of America. Another, the Louisiana Riverwalk, is a $180 million urban renewal project to bring shops and restaurants to downtown Shreveport. Already confirmed for the Riverwalk is a Bass Pro store and Shreveport's first ever Hooter's restaurant.

Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa is one of the biggest fans of these projects. He points to provisions that would require each of the projects to include environmentally friendly architectural and energy features as justification for the projects. Conveniently, one of the projects is located in Iowa, where planners predict it will create upwards of 2,500 jobs and may net the region $120 million a year in economic benefits. Although the other projects are sneer-worthy at first glance, the “Iowa Environmental Project”, which includes plans for a four and a half acre indoor tropical rainforest and a million gallon aquarium, is beyond the pale.

Next, we have the $800 million coal-gasification plant in Minnesota. Combine this with continued subsidies for the ethanol industry, another Minnesota friendly provision, and you may well have earned the support of Minnesota's Sen. Norm Coleman, who told the Washington Post that “It would be very hard to walk away from an energy bill (with those [coal-gasification and ethanol] provisions), no matter what else was in it.”

Because the bill negotiations have been conducted behind closed doors and the Senate vote could be scheduled as early as Sunday, Senators will only have about 48 hours to read it over before casting their votes. At 1,700 pages, you would need to average 35.4 pages an hour, non-stop, from now until Sunday afternoon if you wanted to read all the fine print. Coming on the heels of the 39-hour judge-athon, Senate staffers will need to make a lot of Starbucks trips if they want to stay awake throughout the reams of tedious legislative language. Taxpayers for Common Sense urges them to go home, get a good nights sleep, and urge their bosses to take a pass on this pork-laden bill.